BREAKING!! Irwin death was secret plot by Bush administration to set up invasion of stingray habitat
BY GREGOR
Democratic leaders are demanding a congressional hearing this morning after allegations have come forward that the death of Steve Irwin was a secret government plot, designed to gather public support in advance of a U.S. invasion of Australia's northeast coast. Irwin was killed on Monday by a stingray's serrated barb to the chest.
At least two witnesses have now come forward to say that Vice-President Dick Cheney had been seen entering the same dive area wearing scuba gear, and video surveillance at the Bango Singia Dive shop shows Cheney purchasing what appears to be a stingray barb and then placing it into his backpack.
Congressman John Murtha calls this “yet another move by an administration out of control” and stated this morning that “Clearly it’s the ignoring of history that is going to get President Bush and his ideological policymakers into a massive quagmire within the reefs of the Australian coast, much like what now exists in Iraq. As history has shown, it’s absolutely foolish to believe that by occupying these waters, the United States would transform stingrays into a beacon of American style democratic ideals.”
Nancy Pelosi would not comment, other than to say “I really hate that dumb man. I hate him with a passion! And I hate Rumsfeld too!”
General Westley Clark also spoke at the press conference, saying that it’s his belief that invasion is the wrong answer and it would be much more effective to offer a package of incentives to the stingray community.
“These creatures do not want war,” Clark said. “I’m not sure why this administration seems to avoid any attempt at dialogue before resorting to military action.”
BY GREGOR
Democratic leaders are demanding a congressional hearing this morning after allegations have come forward that the death of Steve Irwin was a secret government plot, designed to gather public support in advance of a U.S. invasion of Australia's northeast coast. Irwin was killed on Monday by a stingray's serrated barb to the chest.
At least two witnesses have now come forward to say that Vice-President Dick Cheney had been seen entering the same dive area wearing scuba gear, and video surveillance at the Bango Singia Dive shop shows Cheney purchasing what appears to be a stingray barb and then placing it into his backpack.
Congressman John Murtha calls this “yet another move by an administration out of control” and stated this morning that “Clearly it’s the ignoring of history that is going to get President Bush and his ideological policymakers into a massive quagmire within the reefs of the Australian coast, much like what now exists in Iraq. As history has shown, it’s absolutely foolish to believe that by occupying these waters, the United States would transform stingrays into a beacon of American style democratic ideals.”
Nancy Pelosi would not comment, other than to say “I really hate that dumb man. I hate him with a passion! And I hate Rumsfeld too!”
General Westley Clark also spoke at the press conference, saying that it’s his belief that invasion is the wrong answer and it would be much more effective to offer a package of incentives to the stingray community.
“These creatures do not want war,” Clark said. “I’m not sure why this administration seems to avoid any attempt at dialogue before resorting to military action.”
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